Offers Fellowship and Comfort
Community United Methodist Church, along with partner organizations including Parthemore Funeral Home & Cremation Services, will host a Blue Christmas Service of Hope to minister to persons who are grieving the loss of loved ones or have experienced other losses.
The special service will take place at 3:00 pm on Sunday, December 4, 2011 at the Community United Methodist Church located at 16th and Bridge Streets in New Cumberland. The snow date is Sunday, December 11th.
The Rev. Charles Zahora, Pastor of First Church of God, New Cumberland, is the event's featured guest speaker. Elizabeth Beshore, harpist, will provide special music as well.
The service will involve sharing among the evening's congregation, prayer, scripture, music and a time for meditation. There also will be meaningful opportunities to acknowledge personal loss and to commemorate loved ones including a special tea candle lighting on the altar. Attendees will receive a Christmas ornament as a symbol of the journey to acceptance and healing.
"For those who are grieving or in pain, Christmas can be a very lonely, difficult time. This service will help provide comfort and hope. We're grateful for the opportunity to provide some solace during the holiday season," said Steve Parthemore, President of Parthemore Funeral Home & Cremation Services.
Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season
Internationally noted author Dr. Alan Wolfelt offers some strategies for managing grief during the holidays. The author of Living in the shadow of the Ghosts of Grief:Step into the Light and Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transitions serves as an educational consultant to funeral homes, hospices, hospitals and schools across the U.S. Following is an excerpt from Dr. Wolfelt on handling your grief during the upcoming holiday season.
Love Does Not End With Death
Since love does not end with death, holidays may result in a renewed sense of personal grief—a feeling of loss unlike that experienced in the routine of daily living. Society encourages you to join in the holiday spirit, but all around you the sounds, sights and smells trigger memories of the one you love who has died.
No simple guidelines exist that will take away the hurt you are feeling. We hope, however, the following suggestions will help you better cope with your grief during this joyful, yet painful, time of the year. As you read through this article, remember that by being tolerant and compassionate with yourself, you will continue to heal.
Talk About Your Grief
During the holiday season, don't be afraid to express your feelings of grief. Ignoring your grief won't make the pain go away and talking about it openly often makes you feel better. Find caring friends and relatives who will listen—without judging you. They will help make you feel understood.
Be Tolerant of Your Physical and Psychological Limits
Feelings of loss will probably leave you fatigued. Your low energy level may naturally slow you down. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. And lower your own expectations about being at your peak during the holiday season.
Eliminate Unnecessary Stress
You may already feel stressed, so don't overextend yourself. Avoid isolating yourself, but be sure to recognize the need to have special time for yourself. Realize also that merely "keeping busy" won't distract you from your grief, but may actually increase stress and postpone the need to talk out thoughts and feelings related to your grief.
Be With Supportive, Comforting People
Identify those friends and relatives who understand that the holiday season can increase your sense of loss and who will allow you to talk openly about your feelings. Find those persons who encourage you to be yourself and accept your feelings—both happy and sad.
Talk About the Person Who Has Died
Include the person's name in your holiday conversation. If you are able to talk candidly, other people are more likely to recognize your need to remember that special person who was an important part of your life.
Do What Is Right for You During the Holidays
Well-meaning friends and family often try to prescribe what is good for you during the holidays. Instead of going along with their plans, focus on what you want to do. Discuss your wishes with a caring, trusted friend.
Plan Ahead for Family Gatherings
Decide which family traditions you want to continue and which new ones you would like to begin. Structure your holiday time. This will help you anticipate activities, rather than just reacting to whatever happens.
Embrace Your Treasure of Memories
Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. And holidays always make you think about times past. Instead of ignoring these memories, share them with your family and friends. Keep in mind that memories are tinged with both happiness and sadness. If your memories bring laughter, smile. If your memories bring sadness, then it's alright to cry. Memories that were made in love—no one can ever take them away from you.
Renew Your Resources for Living
Spend time thinking about the meaning and purpose of your life. The death of someone loved created opportunities for taking inventory of your life— past, present and future. The combination of a holiday and a loss naturally results in looking inward and assessing your individual situation. Make the best use of this time to define the positive things in life that surround you.
Express Your Faith
During the holidays, you may find a renewed sense of faith or discover a new set of beliefs. Associate with people who understand and respect your need to talk about these beliefs. If your faith is important, you may want to attend a holiday service or special religious ceremony.
As you approach the holidays, remember: grief is both a necessity and a privilege. It comes as a result of giving and receiving love. Don't let anyone take your grief away. Love yourself. Be patient with yourself. And allow yourself to be surrounded by loving, caring people.
QR Codes For Headstones
Ancient Grave Marker Adds New Technology
Over the centuries, headstones have not changed that much. Newer methods were developed for etching inscriptions onto the headstones, but the basic function has remained the same, until now. A monument company is now utilizing QR codes (Quick Response) that can be read by smart phones to provide additional information about the deceased person. The QR Code can be applied to new or existing headstones, cremation urns, or other public memorials.
The QR symbol, which is a small black and white square with code, is attached to the headstone. Visitors to the gravesite can capture the QR code with their smart phone to view a personalized Facebook-like website that serves as a memorial.
Family and friends can archive all types of information about their loved one on this virtual headstone including the obituary, photos, poems, special remembrances, family history and more. The virtual memorial can also be accessed via computer by typing a unique web address into the browser.
Frank Deford Commentary On Golf Cemetery
In a recent radio commentary, sportscaster and author, Frank Deford detailed the great lengths that sports fans go to supporting their favorite team or pastime. Mr. Deford, who discovered that a cemetery in Washington State has created a memorial park designed to mimic a golf course, said, “However, nothing in this line has prepared us for what golf fans now can enjoy should they wish to spend eternity in Bellevue, Washington -- a suburb of Seattle. There, we now have the Sunset Hills Memorial Golf Park, a simulated golf course, complete with all the links features, where golfers may be laid to rest. We talk about bad shots being ‘buried’ in the sand or the rough, but now you too may come to rest there.
I'm sure there are no bad lies at Sunset Hills. Arne Swanson, a golfer himself, who conceived the idea of a golf cemetery, has even designated sand traps for those who wish to be cremated and have their urns deposited there. As Mr. Swanson says, now for duffers, you can ‘spend eternity in the bunker.’
Sunset Hills also provides a large leader board, where your name will be listed, if you wish to reserve a future tee time while still being able to putt upright. And now, with Sunset Hills, and any other golf cemeteries that might sprout up, the punch line forever will be: at last, he's one under.”
“We would like to thank you for making a really hard experience
much easier. We realize this is a job for you folks,
but the sincerity, personal attention to my mother and
your genuine caring was truly appreciated by all.”
- New Cumberland, PA
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