Coping with Teenage Grief
 The onset of summer heralds more than just sunshine and blooming flowers. For teenagers, it means important events like proms and graduations and all of the joyful celebration that goes along with them. Unfortunately, tragic traffic accidents have claimed the lives of a record number of teens throughout our area. Instead of enjoying a special time, teenagers are mourning the loss of special friends.
As adults, it is critical to remember that teenagers understand more than younger children do, yet they do not have adult ways to cope with their loss. Fernside, an organization offering support to grieving families, reminds adults that the grieving process takes a very long time. The child will never stop missing their loved one, but the pain will gradually decrease if the child is allowed to grieve and express his or her feelings.
 Keep in mind that there is no time limit on grief and that each child is unique. Each child—including siblings—has different concerns, questions, feelings and grief styles. Since children reprocess their grief
as they move through developmental stages, holidays, birthdays and other milestones can intensify their feelings. While sometimes seemingly unaffected, other times children may ask a lot of questions or cry. This is because children grieve sporadically.
Highmark Caring Place in Lemoyne—a center dedicated to grieving children and their families—offers these tips about grief generated by other teens who have experienced it.
| 1.) There’s no set time for grieving—take as long as you need. |
| 2.) It’s okay to feel sad and out of place. |
| 3.) It’s okay to cry and get your frustration out. |
| 4.) Try not to blame the person you lost. |
| 5.) Try not to blame yourself. |
| 6.) Don’t let friends or parents tell you how to grieve—you need your space. |
| 7.) Cry as much as you want. |
| 8.) Don’t be afraid to let loose or let go. |
| 9.) Don’t let little things or little people bother you. |
| 10.) Your best friend could turn out to be the biggest stranger. |
| 11.) A stranger could turn out to be your best friend. |
| 12.) Tell people about it—it helps to talk. |
| 13.) Try to find people who also lost someone and share your experiences with them. |
| 14.) Remember the good times, but don’t live in the past. |
| 15.) You don’t have to talk about it. |
| 16.) Find a creative way of expressing yourself. |
| 17.) Write about it. |
| 18.) Draw about it. |
| 19.) It’s okay to not know how you feel. |
| 20.) Your weaknesses could turn out to be your strengths now. |
| 21.) It’s never too late to say goodbye. |
Other resources that may be of comfort to
grieving teenagers, their siblings and friends include:
When a Friend Dies:
A Book for Teens on Grieving and Healing
— by Marilyn Gootman |
Saying Goodbye When You Don’t Want To:
Teens Dealing with Loss
— by Martha Bolton |
I Will remember You:
A Guidebook Through Grief for Teens
— by Laura Dower |
The caring professionals at Parthemore Funeral Home & Cremation Services are available to assist you and your family during such difficult times. Contact us at any time for more information on how we can help.
Remembering Virginia Tech
The first decade of this new millennium has given Americans—if not the world—much to grieve. From September 11 to the fury of Katrina, to the ongoing loss of life in the Middle East, it is becoming more common to join in public displays of grief to remember those who are gone and lift the spirits of those still here.
Such was the case in mid-April when a gunman took the lives of 32 Virginia Tech students and faculty before turning the gun on himself. You did not have to be from Virginia to feel the pangs of sorrow when the story first hit the media that fateful morning.
Parthemore Funeral Home knows that grief, whether collective or individual, can generate growth. In times of suffering and tragedy, it is important for us to share our grief and show our support, even if we may not have been personally affected. To help area families and individuals through the Virginia Tech shootings, Parthemore Funeral Home recently opened their chapel for a week to allow anyone to stop by and sign memorial books and express their condolences to shooting victims and their families.
And “Gibby” Makes Three
 “Gibby” Parthemore, grandson of founder Gilbert W. “Gil” Parthemore and son of Gilbert J. “Gib” Parthemore, will expand the Family Tradition of Caring to three generations this summer.
Currently a student at the University of Pittsburgh studying business and political science, Gibby will be working for the funeral home this summer. One of his responsibilities will be directing Project KidCare, a free service offered to local parents and children by the Parthemore family.
Developed by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, Project KidCare provides parents with free, instant photographs of their children. Families are also given complimentary KidCare ID booklets to record and maintain vital statistics about their children.
Look for the Parthemore Project KidCare booth at a variety of events throughout 2007 and be sure to say hi to the newest Parthemore in the business!
Digital Memory Board Added to Chapel
 In response to requests from families, Parthemore Funeral Home is pleased to announce the addition of a flat screen display monitor in our chapel.
This new digital memory board can be seen throughout the chapel and allows for easy viewing by everyone. It offers clearer, larger images than those displayed on a memory board easel, and is set to music. Additionally, families have the option of including personal sub-titles to enhance the digital presentation.
Testimonials From Families We Serve
“When I don’t know what I’m doing, I love being
in the hands of someone who knows exactly what
to do and cares about doing it well. That was my experience with you from the first preplanning
visit to the last detail of mother’s funeral.
Thank you for all of your support and care.”
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