Funerals Are an Essential Part of the Grieving Process

Mar 26, 2022

The pandemic has kept us from sharing some of the most meaningful rituals of our lives, from graduations to weddings to funerals. Studies are now underway to determine the psychological impact that the loss of shared rituals is having on people.

Witnessing the difficulties of the families that Parthemore Funeral Home has served over the last two years, we don’t need a scientific study to tell us that the loss of rituals can be traumatic. Not being able to hold funeral services has had a major negative impact on families’ ability to move through the grieving process.

Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a nationally recognized grief expert, has found that the funeral is more than just a ritual – it is an essential part of the grieving process, because it helps us meet the six needs of mourning.

The 6 Needs of Mourning

After talking with thousands of families, Dr. Wolfelt found that there are six essential needs of mourning. He believes these six needs are essential for mourners to be able to reconcile their grief and go on to find continued meaning in life.

The six needs are:

  1. Acknowledging the reality of the death
  2. Moving toward the pain of loss
  3. Remembering the person who died
  4. Developing a new self-identity
  5. Searching for meaning
  6. Receiving ongoing support from others

Funerals provide an opportunity to begin to deal with the reality of loss. When a death first occurs, our minds often refuse to accept the reality of it. In some ways, we rebel against our new reality and the change it brings to our lives. It’s only with time that the death begins to sink in.

A personalized and meaningful funeral is the first step toward healing and reconciliation. We are surrounded by other people who share our mourning. As we accept the reality of our loss, we can begin to process what this change means for our lives and create forward motion in our grief journey. Without a funeral, we can become stuck in our grief journey.

Funerals help us shift our relationship to one of memory. Part of coming to grips with the reality of death is acknowledging a change of relationship. We no longer have a relationship based on the presence of our loved one; we now have a relationship based on memory.

In order to heal and find continued meaning in life, we must accept our new reality and reconcile ourselves to the loss. The funeral is an important first step on that journey toward healing.

Article includes excerpts from "How Funerals Help Us Accept the Reality of Death"

Ashley Mann, Funeral Director, Joins Parthemore Funeral Home

07 Mar, 2024
Parthemore Funeral Home & Cremation Services is pleased to welcome Ashley Mann, licensed funeral director, to the staff.

Gibby Parthemore, Third Generation Funeral Director, Named Supervisor

04 Mar, 2024
Gilbert A. “Gibby” Parthemore has been named Supervisor of Parthemore Funeral Home & Cremation Services.

Jimmy Carter’s Decision on Hospice Brings Attention to End-of-life Care

17 Oct, 2023
Carter’s public disclosure has really opened up the conversation about issues surrounding death and end-of-life care.

Book Offers Insights

17 Oct, 2023
How to Make Your Loved Ones’ Lives Easier and Your Own Life More Pleasant. The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Make Your Loved Ones’ Lives Easier and Your Own Life More Pleasant.

What Are We Losing to Our Culture of Convenience?

17 Oct, 2023
We need to be careful that our pursuit of convenience doesn’t erode the meaning and purpose of the funeral experience.

Tributes to a Life Well Lived

15 May, 2023
The Parthemore Family would like to thank everyone who attended services, sent condolences and reached out to us. The memories that you shared and your kindness will help us as we mourn the loss of Gil. We pledge to continue his legacy of serving our community.

Gil’s Grandsons Remember How Special He Was

15 May, 2023
Gil’s grandsons Gibby and Garrison paid tribute to their “Pap” during his funeral service. Each of them shared some of the many ways that Gil made a difference in their lives and those of other community members. Here are some excerpts of their eulogies.

How To Honor Your Mother On Mother’s Day, Even If She’s Gone

10 Feb, 2023
Mother’s Day can prove to be challenging for anyone who is mourning the loss of their mother, even long after she passed. It can also be difficult to find meaningful ways to honor your mother and her life on Mother’s Day. Even though your mother is no longer here, you can still celebrate and remember her in ways that reflect the life that was unique to her.

Wondering What To Do With The Cremated Remains You Have At Home?

10 Feb, 2023
After a loved one is cremated, about 70% of families opt to take the urn home with them after the funeral services. There are a number of reasons that families choose to take cremated remains home. Some are still working through their grief and want to hold onto their loved one a bit longer, others haven’t given thought to the final disposition of the ashes, or they have been left instructions about scattering or are simply uncertain what to do.

Did He Die, Pass Away, or Depart This Earthly Life?

10 Feb, 2023
How We Describe Death Has Evolved Over The Years Discussing death has always been a delicate topic, especially when it comes to crafting obituaries for loved ones. Over the years obituaries have evolved, shaped by society’s customs and the evolution of the language used to describe death in obituaries. How we describe death today differs greatly from hundreds of years ago. This reflects not only the fact that attitudes towards death have changed, but also the prevalence of modern day causes of death. Back in the pre-1850’s many obituaries described death in euphemistic phrases like “slain by enemy” or “breathed her soul away into her Savior’s arms.” The language of obituaries can be divided into three broad categories: polite euphemisms, transcendent experiences, and “there’s more to the story” style. Polite euphemisms are a gentle way to talk about death without mentioning the “d-word.” Transcendent experiences involve using religious or spiritual terms to define death. The “there’s more to the story” style-obituaries are similar to polite euphemisms in that they don’t explicitly state how someone died. This option is often used in times of sensitive topics such as overdose or suicide.
More Posts
Share by: